10 things you don’t need to be happy.


They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone(people) to love, something to do, and something to hope for. I don’t think anything could be closer to the truth, and yet all too often we find ways of complicating things for ourselves. We look for happiness where it does not exist – in shallow goals and desires – in possessions, quick thrills, and impressing the wrong people….

…. there are many other sources of true happiness as well. But as I’ve said, there are also lots of common traps – goals and desires that we think will bring us happiness, but actually do the exact opposite. Recognizing these traps is the key. In fact, I believe one of the best feelings comes when you realize that you can be perfectly happy without the things you once thought you needed.

With this in mind, consider the ten goals and desires (traps) below and how they may be holding you back. Each of them is popular in our culture, and thus common in our lives, but rather than contributing to our happiness, they rob us of it.
So say it out loud with me:
“To be happier, I do NOT need…”


1: To please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself. When you go around pleasing everyone but yourself, you are the one that gets hurt in the end. The late and great Herbert Bayard Swope said it like this: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” That is spot on advice if you ask me. Because truthfully, you are never going to please everyone anyway. At some point you will hold an unpopular opinion – one that gives you meaning and makes you feel alive. And when you do, you ought to hold on tight, tune out the noise, and make it count.

2: Everything to be easy – You have to do hard things to be happy in life. The things no one else is doing. The things that frighten you. The things others can’t do for you. The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward. Because those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with happiness and success.

3: Certainty and guarantees – Some people build too many walls in their lives and not enough bridges. It sounds crazy, but they would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. Don’t be one of them. Open yourself up. Take chances. Run free. To accomplish amazing things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. Be a dreamer, a believer, and a courageous and cheerful thinker. Be a positive motivator, a productive doer, and a go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground. Let the spirit of passion and possibility ignite a fire within you to do something worthwhile today and every day, and don’t forget to spread your enthusiasm to those around you. (Read Daring Greatly.)

4: To be better than others – The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center – when we think everyone is our competition – when we think we have to be richer, smarter, and more attractive than the person sitting next to us. Such a goal just keeps a person alienated and tirelessly running in place. Now, on the flipside, take someone who doesn’t keep score, who’s not looking to be richer, or smarter, or more attractive, who has not the slightest interest even in being better than anyone else: she’s free. Bottom line: Compete with yourself only.

5: More control over everything and everyone – Sometimes we put too much interest into trying to control every tiny aspect of our lives. Learn to relax and ride the path that life takes you sometimes. Incredible change will happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you do not. Freeing yourself from trying to control the insignificant and uncontrollable things lets you experience more of the goodness around you. In fact, the greatest joys are often the unexpected surprises that arrive when you are flexible and open to life’s twists and turns.

6: Immense moments of glory – Graduations, wedding days, lavish vacations – these times are often fun-filled and deeply celebrated, but these times pass, because time passes. This is something we rarely grasp at first. True, lasting happiness is found in the appreciation of all the small things. For me, there are random moments – tossing a salad, coming up the driveway to our home, ironing the seams flat on a dress shirt, standing at the kitchen window and looking out at the sun rising over the Austin skyline, hearing a giggle from my son who’s playing in the other room – when I feel a wavelike rush of joy. This is my true happiness: arbitrary moments of sudden, throbbing appreciation for a life I feel privileged to lead. (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Simplicity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

7: Relationships that are “supposed to” provide happiness – Relationships are essential, but happiness originates from within. It is not dependent on external validation or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend entirely on the behavior and actions of others. Keep this in mind. Never give all your power to anyone else. Until you make complete peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have or who you’re with. Learn to love and respect yourself first, before loving the idea of other people loving and respecting you.

8: Perfect harmony in all relationships at all times – Harmony in relationships is nice when it’s sincere, but too often we try to fake it. Effective communication is king. You have to talk it out sometimes. After all, the only way to be happy in life is to live with integrity. This means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Being clear and asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create occasional tension. Behaving in ways that are in agreement with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not just what others believe. (Read The Mastery of Love.)

9: A superior time and place – The reason many people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be. The key, of course, is to do the opposite. Appreciate your past without reliving it, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear. Life is simply too short to spend at war with yourself. Letting go of the past and future is your first step to happiness and peace in the present. Realize that you are today where your thoughts and actions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and actions today take you. Bottom line: You can’t stop the future. You can’t rewind the past. The only way to live is to press play, and dance.

10: Happiness 24/7 – Absolutely no one is happy all of the time. Because you simply can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes. This is a harsh truth, I know. Just keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year. Believing and expecting otherwise will only lead to disillusionment. But even when life is less than blissful, you are still in charge of how you respond. Choose positivity, always. The greatest act of faith some days is to simply get up and face the day, with a smile.


And let me leave you with this to think about: According to a recent scientific study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s. So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come. Hopefully that gives you something to smile about today.
Just keep doing your best by taking life moment by moment, complaining very little, and being grateful for the little things that mean a lot.

Your turn…
 So, which of the points in this post do you resonate with the most? What do you sometimes forget you do NOT need to be happier in life? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.

(curled via Marc & Angel ) 

The Pencil Parable.

The Parable Of The Pencil


In the beginning, the pencil Manufacturer spoke to the pencil saying “there are five things you need to know before I send you into the world, so always remember them and you will become the best pencil you can be”

1. You’ll be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in someone’s hand.


2. Occasionally you will have the painful experience of being pulled and sharpened,  but this is required if you are going to be a better pencil.

3. You have the ability to correct any mistake you make.


4. The most important part of you will always be inside.
5. No matter what the condition is, you must continue your writing. You always drop a clear and legible mark no matter how difficult the situation.

The pencil understood, promising to remember, and went into the box fully understanding the purpose of the Manufacturer.


Now, the thing is to replace the pencil with your person.

-Always remember the lessons and never forget, and you will become the best person you can.

1.You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow God’s hand to uphold you and direct you , and allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts that you possess.


2. Occasionally you will experience a painful polishing, passing through various problems, but you will become a stronger person and complete.


3. You will be able to correct the mistakes you’ve made and grow through them.


4. The most important part of you is what is inside you.
5. On every surface you walk, you must leave your footprint, no matter what the situation, you must continue to serve God in everything.


Everyone is like a pencil, created by the Maker for a unique and special purpose.
By understanding and remembering all this, let us proceed with our life on earth having a meaningful purpose in our heart and a relationship with God daily.


We were all made to do great things.

P.s , this “Parable of the pencil” was one of the parting gifts iGot from Tutu Sholeye, the iron lady and tutor of life 💕…and I couldn’t resist sharing it with you.

Life is too short to do anything but live a positive life of purpose.

12 things that happy people do.


Compliments of the 7th week of 2015 :) . Hope the year has been good to you. Either way, here’s a Quick Q: Are you a happy person? whether your answer is yes, no, or maybe, reading the dozen of things happy people do would be rewarding. Now carry on :D

“” Here are a dozen things that any of us — at any age or stage of life — can start doing today to feel the effects of more happiness in our lives.

1. Express gratitude. — When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value. Kinda cool right? So basically, being grateful for the goodness that is already evident in your life will bring you a deeper sense of happiness. And that’s without having to go out and buy anything. It makes sense. We’re gonna have a hard time ever being happy if we aren’t thankful for what we already have.

2. Cultivate optimism. — Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism. No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it. She knows failure only as an opportunity to grow and learn a new lesson from life. People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.

3. Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. — Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous. If we’re somehow “better” than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority. Our ego inflates — KABOOM — our inner Kanye West comes out! If we’re “worse” than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress that we’ve made. What I’ve found is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place. If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.

4. Practice acts of kindness. — Performing an act of kindness releases serotonin in your brain. (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.) Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside. What’s even cooler about this kindness kick is that not only will you feel better, but so will people watching the act of kindness. How extraordinary is that? A side note is that the job of most anti-depressants is to release more serotonin. Move over Pfizer, kindness is kicking ass and taking names.

5. Nurture social relationships. — The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Did you know studies show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely? WHOA! There’s a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having an active circle of good friends who you can share your experiences with. We feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.

6. Develop strategies for coping. — How you respond to the “craptastic” moments is what shapes your character. Sometimes crap happens — it’s inevitable. Forrest Gump knows the deal. It can be hard to come up with creative solutions in the moment when manure is making its way up toward the fan. It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.

7. Learn to forgive. — Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being.You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and present emotion. When you “hate” someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are toxic for your well-being. You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays with you throughout your day.

8. Increase flow experiences. — Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still. It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you become one with the task. Action and awareness are merged. You’re not hungry, sleepy, or emotional. You’re just completely engaged in the activity that you’re doing. Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.

9. Savor life’s joys. — Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy. It’s easy in a world of wild stimuli and omnipresent movement to forget to embrace life’s enjoyable experiences. When we neglect to appreciate, we rob the moment of its magic. It’s the simple things in life that can be the most rewarding if we remember to fully experience them.

10. Commit to your goals. — Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force. Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere. When you’re fully committed to doing something, you have no choice but to do that thing. Counter-intuitively, having no option — where you can’t change your mind — subconsciously makes humans happier because they know part of their purpose.

11. Practice spirituality. — When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us. We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever. It enables us to connect to the source of all creation and embrace a connectedness with everything that exists. Some of the most accomplished people I know feel that they’re here doing work they’re “called to do.”

12. Take care of your body. — Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be. If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected. Did you know that studies conducted on people who were clinically depressed showed that consistent exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft? Not only that, but here’s the double whammy… Six months later, the people who participated in exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.””

iBumped into the above dozen of stuff via Spesh’s world and iCouldnt resist sharing it.

Like Mark Twain thoughtfully said, twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Hope a thing or more from the post has touched your life positively :) . Remember, life is too short to be anything but happy. Live a fulfilled happy life and love thyself plus thy life.



Texting/networking while driving: Guilty or naah??!

So many people around the globe are fascinated-by and addicted-to communication via texting and also ‘social networking'(twitter, FB, I.G, whatsapp etc).
Yes, it is super fast and easy to reach out and recive messages/media at the speed of light….but would you want your means of communication and networking to be your cause of death? of course your answer is NO.

Watch this video about how dangerous it is to text/network & drive, iPromise it would be worth every second of your time(and worth every data you burn^^). 👇👇

Truth be told,  a lot of people are guity of texting & checking social-media updates while driving  and they feel it is harmless and feel it’s not a bad thing. A lot of people think they have mastered the art of texting/networking and driving but it is a delusion. That quick look at your phone is longer than you think.

Imagine living your life knowing you killed someone for a text message. Imagine living your life after killing the people you carried in your car over a text message or a glimpse at a social-media.

Drop your cell phone while you’re driving, and if you absolutely must check your phone or send a message, pull over at a safe place and do that.
No text or social-media is so important that it is worth your life or someone elses.

Don’t be another accident waiting to happen.Dont text and drive.

I’ve been guilty of texting while driving a couple of times but today iTake a vow never to do that ever again ✋. What ever it is can wait, YES, it can surely wait.

Take the vow not to text/network and drive today, life is too short to die or kill someone over a text message or any social media. Drive safe and be safe.

With love from Q.B.

Inspired by Omar❤️


Voicing out:::BringBackOurGirls


My tears turn to prayers, and my prayers turn to thoughts-on-a-page as i engrave this dreadful incident that brought sadness to our Nation…

School activities turned to exam tension and exam tension turns to a horrible nightmare as the Chibok girls get kidnapped from school…

Minutes turn to hours, and hours turn to days & weeks, as the traumatized missing girls expect a rescue team to bring them home…

Shock turns to tears, and tears turn to anguish & helplessness as the parents of the Chibok girls await the rescue of their missing daughters…

A few voices turn to a thousand, and a thousand voices  turned to multiples as Nigerians protest for the missing girls to be rescued…

One Nation turns to more, and more Nations turn to much more as International communities join the BringBackOurGirls Movement…

Queries turn to anger, and anger turns to being stupefied as we are puzzled at why anyone would be so inhuman as to kidnap those innocent girls.

Inquisitions turn to accusations, and accusations turn to dismay as Nigerians watch the Government do little or nothing to rescue the Chibok girls…

My tears turn to voicing out “Help Our girls in any way you can” and my voicing out turns to my-thoughts-on-a-page as i hope and pray the Chibok girls get rescued…

Helplessness turns to prayers and prayers turns to hope as we
have faith in God to intercede and BringBackOurGirls safe and sound.

…The Amazing Vinegar…


Hey you *waves*. Compliments of the new year…hope your year started on a good note :D …either way….iHave this new ‘craze’ that iGot to know about while iWas in search of hair care products some weeks back… iCouldnt just keep to myself *itching to share*…and without much ado about much talks, my new craze is non-other than *drum roll* the Apple Cider Vinegar(ACV).

Now before you go all…”D’uh! I Know vinegar and all”…hear me out ok…iDid a whole lot of research (online, by trial and also via friends that have good word about ACV)…just patiently read to the bottom of the post and trust me, you’ll find yourself wanting to have a bottle of vinegar in your kitchen, toilet or room….and hey this is for both  ladies and dudes.

I’ve always known about Vinegar, but little did i know that it is used in many more ways than just as a classic salad dressing ingredient (which iLearnt from my mum)….and before iDive into telling you what vinegar does from my research and trial…it is best you know what vinegar is (+made of).

Vinegar is a sour liquid that is generally used to flavor or preserve foods and also to clean things. Vinegar is a product of fermentation. This is a process in which sugars in a food are broken down by bacteria and yeast. In the first stage of fermentation, the sugars are turned into alcohol. Then, if the alcohol ferments further, you get vinegar.
Vinegar can be made from all sorts of things like fruits, vegetables, and grains, and apple cider vinegar comes from pulverized apples, and that is my new craze .

Now here are some of the things you can use Apple Cider Vinegar(ACV) for.

1) Hair Care:

ACV can be used to rinse your hair after a shampoo session. To do this, recycle an old shampoo bottle or buy any empty bottle and fill it with 1/2 or 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and a cup of cold water. Pour the solution through your hair after shampooing several times a week for better results.
ACV, when used as a rinse, will make your hair feel smooth and shiny, and provide a bit of extra clarification to remove oil and dirt. It balances your hair’s pH, which helps seal the cuticle and make the hair smoother. It can also help with dandruff, clear away greasy build-up, and soothe itchiness and irritation of the scalp. Make sure to rinse it out well afterwards so that your hair won’t feel crunchy.
Don’t worry, the vinegar smell will dissipate once your hair dries, so you don’t have to worry about smelling like salad all day.

2) Skin care:

-After shave for guys:
Fill a bottle with equal parts apple cider vinegar and water, and shake before applying to the face.

As mentioned earlier,ACV has antibacterial and antifungal properties to help prevent acne and skin infections. Apple cider kills bacteria, helps balance skin pH, and absorbs excessive oil from our skin. Use 1 part vinegar with 3-4 parts water. Apply to the skin using cotton swab and leave for ten minutes then rinse. Use 2 times every day. Don’t make a fuss about the smell, once the ACV is dry, the smell will disappear.

-Facial toner:
 A dab of apple cider vinegar can also be left on the skin overnight to fade acne scars.(if your skin is sensitive, you might want to dilute acv to suit your sensitivity)
  Mix 1 part ACV with 2 parts water in a water bottle or jug with lid. Shake it up before you use it and pour some on a cotton swab (use after washing your face) and wipe on skin.
You can do this at night after washing, and in the morning before you apply your moisturizer.

For warts, soak a cotton ball in apple cider vinegar, then fasten the cotton ball over the wart with a Band-Aid overnight. The skin may swell some as it reacts with the solution. However, the wart will fall off. Once it falls off, the treatment should be continued for a few more days, to make sure the wart doesn’t return.

3) Infections:

The enzymes in apple cider vinegar also promote the growth of healthy bacteria in the gut, and can help regulate candida issues.
How to take apple cider vinegar orally: Mix 1 tablespoon with a cup of water or herbal tea. (Apple cider vinegar is quite strong, and when taken straight can be harsh on the esophagus, so you’ll want to dilute it).

-Yeast Infections:
Add 1 ½ cups of apple cider vinegar into a bathtub filled with lukewarm water and then soak in it for about 20 minutes. This is done once a day for 3 days.
After 3 days of soaking, make a mixture consisting of 1 ½ cups of water and 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar. This time use as a vaginal douche two times a day for 5 days.
After a few days of douching, start to drink a glass of water mixed with 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar once a day. This can help prevent the occurrence of yeast infections.

4) house cleaning:

Non-toxic cleaning spray:
Most cleaning supplies are full of harsh chemicals, so apple cider vinegar can surprisingly provide an excellent, cheap alternative to many cleaning products. It absorbs odors and has antibacterial properties.
Simply mix one part apple cider vinegar to one part water, and put it in a spray bottle. Spray the solution on hard surfaces such as hardwood floors, microwave, windows, bathroom tiles, cabinets and countertops, then wipe it off with a rag. The mixture also works as a disinfectant

5) Sunburn relief:
While you should always strive to avoid skin damage by not staying out in the sun uncovered for more than 15 minutes, if you do accidentally find yourself burnt to a crisp, you can use apple cider vinegar to neutralize the burn. Dilute it in water and pat on the sore skin, or add a cupful to your bath.

6) Deodorant:
-Most commercial deodorants are antiperspirants, which block your ability to sweat. Since sweat is one of your body’s natural means of detoxification, blocking your ability to sweat can block your ability to detoxify. It might sound a little crazy, but you can actually use apple cider vinegar as a natural deodorant! Acv neutralizes stinky scents. Simply rub a bit of ACV in your underarms and it will absorb and minimize body odors. The vinegary smell dissipates once it dries.

-Helps Body Odor:
 It helps adjust the skin’s pH level which helps to eliminate odor-causing bacteria. Take a cotton ball filled with ACV and wipe it directly on the part where you have body odor.

7) weight loss:

For daily weight management, add 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar to 16 ounces of water. This concoction can be sipped throughout the day. Data shows some limited, yet significant, weight loss benefits from sustained daily intake of acetic acid (which is a main ingredient in apple cider vinegar) as it is said to help you feel fuller and eat less.

Note-In a 2009 study published in Bioscience, Biotechnology, and Biochemistry, it was found that subjects that consumed acetic acid for 12 weeks experienced significant decline in body weight, abdominal fat, waist circumference and triglycerides. Triglycerides contribute to the bad cholesterol that we want to avoid.
Nutritionists believe that combining Vitamin B6 and Lecithin with Apple Cider Vinegar is what helps.

8) Detox:

As part of balancing the body’s pH, apple cider vinegar creates an overall detoxification of the body. Research shows that it can help stimulate cardiovascular circulation and help detoxify the liver.

9) Salad dressing:
-apple cider vinegar is a classic salad dressing ingredient, which you can definitely get a little creative with! While olive oil, the most commonly used oil for salad dressing, is not permitted on the therapy, you can mix your ACV with flax oil and lemon or orange juice, and perhaps even whirr it all together in a blender with a clove of garlic and a bit of onion.

Miscellaneous uses:
It is also believed that ACV does the following….
-Prevents Indigestion – Add 1 teaspoon of honey + 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar to warm water and drink 30 minutes before you eat.
-Soothes Sore throat – Mix 1/4 Warm water with 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar every hour.
-Help regulate blood pressure and reduce bad cholesterol when you drink it regularly.
-Foot Odor – Add 2/3 cup of ACV to a pan with warm water and soak your feet in it for 20 minutes.
-Bad Breath – Add 1/2 tablespoon ACV into 1 cup of water and gargle every other day.
-Diabetes – helps to control high blood sugar levels.
Cellulite – Mix 3 parts apple cider vinegar with 1 part Vitamin E oil and massage the into the skin two times a day.
-Diarrhea – The pectin in ACV coats the inflamed colon lining. Add 2 tablespoons of ACV vinegar to some water in a large glass – can be taken 3 times a day when you have symptoms.
-High cholesterol: A 2006 study showed evidence that vinegar could lower cholesterol.
-Hiccups: when you have a spurt of those annoying hiccups, drink some ACV with water.
-Stuffy Nose: Sip some ACV and water. This helps sinus drainage.
Rich in enzymes & potassium.
-Beat the Exhaustion from Working out – When you exercise, lactic acid can build up in the body, causing fatigue. Since ACV has amino acids, it can help reverse this. It also contains potassium and enzymes that can help relieve feeling tired. Try drinking some mixed with water after a workout.

If your skin is the sensitive type(or easily prone to react), you should dilute the ACV to a minimum concentration, and also if you have any serious health condition or are under any special medication, be sure to ask your doctor before you start taking or using apple cider vinegar, just to make sure it is safe for you to use.

P.s…another good thing about ACV is that it is quite affordable and easy to get at most stores and market.

Now if you know more uses of ACV please do share :) and also if you have used ACV and have a positive testimony please do share.

Either way, iHope this bit of info was worth your time.
Take care of yourself and catch you on the flip side of my next post.
…Toodles! :D .


Oh muse, where art thou?

The sound of silence surrounds me
but the echo of my thoughts engulf me

My blinkers keep battering while iLie awake..
yet my emotions seem to be asleep with the rest of the world.

Has my muse forsaken me?
For all iFeel is the captivity of loss-for-words.

So many thoughts and emotions to pen down
Yet my thoughts and pen aren’t in symphony.

Oh muse, where art thou…has thou deserted me?
Or has my fusion with reality made thee jealous?

Like a repentant sinner…
..and as sober as a judge

iLie awake waiting for my muse to propel safe landing of the thoughts me on a page.


Diary of a Nigerian.


A lot of Nigerians like to travel abroad on vacation, to study, for medical reasons and what not. Matter of fact, so many Nigerians fancy living abroad (sometimes, even if it means having to do the ‘unmentionable’ jobs *coughs*). But for what ever reason we find ourselves abroad, we tend to receive (±accept) the tradition, lifestyle and religious practices of the people in the country we visit, almost without being judgemental, sometimes their ways seem to fascinate us. We tend to have some sort of understanding and respect for other people’s ways and not make any big deal out of it. My thoughts are….”Why can’t we have the same respect & understanding for each other’s religious beliefs and cultural practices in Nigeria?”.  

Now when you talk about Nigeria, you’re talking about a Nation that developed from different Kingdoms,’Chief-doms’ & Emirates(+more) into one Country. With different religious practices(Islam, Christianity and Traditional religions), over 500 different languages/dialects and cultural/ethnic practices, sometimes it’s overwhelming to think that we have such diversity yet we are “united” as one Country. But hey let’s get over ourselves because U.S.A comprises people from not just different tribes or religion, but people from different races, yet united they stand too(there’s disparity in comparison here,iKnow right?!…I’m just saying). 

Going a bit personal, since childhood, i’ve travelled to different parts of Nigeria, to see relations or family friends, and sometimes iJust tag along with my mum for one seminar/workshop or the other. I’ve lived ± schooled in 4 different states in Nigeria, and also been to over 25 states( you can blame all that on my nomadic nature LOL). Anyway, each experience has been enlightening and interesting, because iGot to learn a lot about other traditions, cultures and ways of life that are different from the one iGrew up with( and oh, I’m Hausa/Fulani by the way). All that also made me more appreciative, more understanding and respectful of other people’s way of life, and as a result it became a lot easier for me to associate with people from other tribes in school and social gatherings(errm even at home,my Mum had/has friends from different tribes + religion). iNotice that Nigerians tend to associate or hang around people from their Tribe/Religion more than they do with people that aren’t (nothing wrong with that, but it shouldn’t always be so). One major thing i’ve come to realise about so many Nigerians(educated or otherwise) is that their lack of meeting or living with people from other tribes/culture makes them have a negative notion or mindset about those people. They tend to have a negative expectation and conclusion without even having a chance to know them better(iMean, how close-minded can we be?!). Really, it’s surprising that this behaviour or trait is something i’ve seen in even one of my Professors in University.(mentioning his name would mean my funeral *lips sealed*).

There are different instances where people thought wrong or badly about the other Tribe/State only to have a different positive view or interest after having contact with a person different from their tribe and in other cases, after visiting the other person’s place of domicile. What I’m trying to say is, although i know that resentment and cold-shoulder towards people that are different from us ( by religion tribe or race) is somehow human nature (and it’s not peculiar to Nigeria alone), however other Nations live with it and thus focus on the collective good of their country.     

Sometime in 2011, when the issue of the-group-that-must-not-be mentioned was at the peak, with all the bombings and killing, the thought of Nigeria splitting actually crossed my mind. Believe me, iDint have such thoughts with malice or bad intention, but iJust thought maybe, just maybe if we separate, it would serve as some sort of lesson to make us actually realise how important we are to each other. It would be an awakening when we suffer from the loss of what we all benefit from one another and then we would  begin to appreciate one another afterwards. But then again iThought a lot of people have built houses, business empires in different states all over Nigeria, people from different tribes marry one another in this country, we do business dealings and share each others natural resources, we would lose our sovereignty, and it would take us a great deal of years to get back on our feet. So separation will do us more harm than good, and iThink we should look for other ways to resolve out differences and learn to live in unity.

Basically, we need to know and LEARN that this country is not just for one tribe/religious group alone, and the earlier we accept, respect and understand each other the more closer to achieving a better Nation we are going to be. We need to flush out that mentality of “My tribe is superior to yours” , the mentality of “Your religion or cultural practices are repugnant”, the thought that “if so and so is not from my tribe or religion then i can’t hire him or offer him a job”. So many Nigerians would rather vote for an imcompetent person from their place and suffer the consequences than vote for someone who merits a post/position. That thought of “this candidate is not from my place so iWont vote for him” needs to be eradicated. It may be hard, but we need to do away with all these and affiliated mind-sets.

Nigeria is a country that is endowed with strong, smart, hardworking, resilient, industrious, die hard and creative people. Let’s redirect all our energy to uniting as one, loving one another, and ourselves so much so that all we seek is to make this Nation a better, united, peaceful and productive Country. It’s not impossible to achieve, if only you and i put our minds to do it. Our diversity should be an advantage instead of a reason for so much disunity.

God has already blessed Nigeria with “You” (all nigerians) now it’s up to “you”(+i) to be a blessing to Nigeria.

:::Rise Above Tribalism, Resentment, Corruption and any Negativity, then watch how we soar into a better future:::


Bits & Bots of Life’s Little-Pleasures ….

“iThink it is important to find the little things in everyday life that make you happy” – Paula Cole.

Life is made up of moments, and moments are made up of little events some of which are not major but still quite pleasurable.

Sometimes it is these little events that make a huge difference, and you know what they say “some of the most wonderful things in life come in ‘small packages'”. Any way, relax and enjoy some of my life’s little pleasures, i’m sure you can relate to some of them too.


1- That first intense body stretch after waking up: Makes me feel like a cat.

2- Sleeping in on a Rainy Day: this is absolute pleasure iTell you ^.^

3- Getting cut off by an over-zealous driver, then pulling up right next to them moments later at a red light. *giggling*

4- Hearing a verse from the holy-book that speaks to you or your situation: It gives so much solace.

5- Going through old pictures and remembering moments that hadn’t crossed your mind in a while. :D

5- “Good morning.” “Good night.” and “Did you get home safe?” text messages from the ones you love: Knowing someone cares about you makes you feel good :).

6- Seeing good things happen to good peole: Dont you just love good karma?!

7- Being in a Free-wifi-zone: It automatically activates your ability to download all sorts and update your applications.

8- Taking a glass of milk or anything milky.(Ice cream, milk-shake…etc). Tasty!!! *candy crush voice*

9- Getting a parking spot after going round and round in an over crowded parking lot: This feels like a blessing actually.

10- Thinking you’re in trouble in school/office and then realising you’re not: Guilty much.

11- That calming feeling you get after crying your heart out.*sigh*

12- Someone saying “iBelieve in you”: Makes you feel super human.

13- Jumping on the bed in slow-motion after a long hectic day. Ahhh,bliss.

14- That time of the day you get to remove your bra. *this is for the ladies lol*

15- Singing & dancing like a Rock-star in your room or while driving. Silly but fun.

16- Playing outdoor games with kids and hearing them say “let’s do it again”.

17- Talking to friends you’ve not been in contact with for a long time.

18- Making the Yellow traffic light: This almost feels like an epic moment LOL.

19- Late night/early morning conversations with good friends or a loved one. This!!!

20- Overhearing someone saying nice things about you: Makes you feel good.

21- Knowing you’re the reason behind someone’s smile or happiness.

22- Being busy for the whole day, and then returning to a phone full of messages and missed calls.

23- Feeling connected to someone and having that person feel the same way too.

24- The relief of taking your shoes and socks off, after a long day of wearing them.

25- Seeing someone you know driving by when you’re so tired and worn out from trekking: Feels like an answered prayer.

26- Waking up, checking the clock and seeing that you have plenty of sleep time left. Ahhh,bliss.

27- Catching a song you enjoy on the radio, right as it starts.

28- Finding money you didn’t know you had in your pocket or bag: It’s almost like a gift to you from you.

29- When events/plans you didn’t want to attend get cancelled.

30- Spontaneous adventures.

31- That moment when you drop your phone, and your ear piece saves its life. So epic.

32- Having the exact change to pay for something: Saves you the trouble of waiting or leaving your change.*giggling*

33- Completing a form on the internet without missing a required field, on the first attempt.

34- Power supply being turned on the very moment you walk into the house.(alot of Nigerians can relate to this).

35- Comfortably chewing a juicy bone at home: This is something you cant really do when youre eating outside.

36- Asking a question on Google and seeing it finish your words: meaning there are others out there wondering the same thing as you.

37- Writing your last word in your last essay in an exam seconds before the examiner says “pens up”.

38- Rushing to the airport when you are late and getting there just in time for take off. *Phew*

39- That scary moment you’re about to fall down but luckily someone gets a hold of you and prevents you from falling.

40- Waking up extremely hungry in the morning and realising there’s food waiting for you. Ou-la-la!!!


iTry not to get carried away by expecting or waiting for big-bang-events to happen, iFind joy and pleasure from the little events in my life. Either way, Life is too short to overlook the Little pleasures of life.


If people did not know your age, how old would they think you are?



“How old would you be if you did not know how old you are ?” :?:

 iRemember the first time iSaw that quote, it was during my facebook freak days. iRushed to update my status with it :lol: …anyway, my bone of contention here is about who a young person is and what qualifies someone as a young person. :?:

The other day, iWas driving down town on a cool breezy and cloudy day after a not so cool CD experience, but that did not get to me because iWas headed towards getting myself a new ‘toy’ (if you know me well you’ll know what iMean by ‘toy’ *giggles*). Anyway, there was this mild traffic that afternoon, but iCouldnt be bothered about the traffic. My mind was miles away from my surroundings… iRemember seeing a mercedes ahead of me, iRemember seeing the green light from far but Lord knows iDint know when the green light turned to orange and red. Next thing iHeard was “GBASH!!!”…and iWas like OMG!!! :shock: Apparently the traffic light was on red and everyone had stopped except yours truly :oops: ….yes iBashed a car in front of me, so iSwiftly jumped out of the car before the person in the car iHit came out…before iCould take a breath a middle aged lady came out of the car and began to rant! “iWont take this from you, iNoticed you from far and knew you were going to hit me, when did you even start driving? I’m sure you don’t know how to drive :evil: ” …iDint let all that get to me because iWas wrong…all iSaid was that iWas terribly sorry…She went on and said “…all these kids, must you drive? must you drive a car? can’t you take a bus or something?!… :evil: ” iWas like say what?! :???:  She went further and said “Call your mum or your dad right now, they must repair my car…all you kids that like driving….I won’t take this from you, your parents must repair my car :evil: “…at that point, my adam’s apple was triple its normal size because iWas pissed :mad: . Just one look at me she concluded i must be a kid or something :twisted: .. iFelt highly insulted but knowing iWas wrong, my next response was “I’m sorry iHit your car ma’am, direct me to your mechanic for the repairs :neutral: “……she led the way and iDrove right behind her bumper-to-bumper to her mechanic’s place. The rest is a story for another day.

You really don’t wanna hear my other experiences, i’ve got so many instances where people look down at me like a high-school person or something, and no I’m not complaining but sometimes it’s embarrassing :oops: and other times it’s totally below the belt. But then again, there are folks that take it personal when people look at them as older than their actual age, it’s a two way thing sometimes. Also, iThink how you feel about the mix up depends on the circumstance and the person judging your looks. Either way, people should learn to respect others no matter how old they are. :idea:

Now what really is the definition of a young person? Is it by looks? and if it’s by age, what age do you consider to be the limit of someone being called “young” ?! ( + or – ) 23, 24,25,26,27,28( + or – ).

:idea: Some say young cannot be specified because it is mostly relative,in the sense that it could be in relation to achievement or in relation to age. For instance, if you are 23 years old in secondary school you sure are old to every one , but if you’re a CEO at 30 everyone will see you as rather a little young. So, to so many people the concept of youth is relative. A friend of mine opined once you’re married you’re no longer a young person no matter what your age. For some, there’s even a category of ‘young adults’ as opposed to ‘young youth’…sounds a bit gibberish yeah?!!

:idea: However, according to the Dictionary: Young means-
 1. being in the first or early stage of life or growth; youthful; not old.
2. having the appearance, freshness, vigor, or other qualities of youth.
3. of or pertaining to youth: in one’s young days.


Now take a look at Pharrell William or Carly Rae, they look way younger than their age, while some people (won’t use any name for this example) look way older than their real age. Sometimes we see forums or initiatives set up for “The Youth” but it’s older people (age wise) we find in those forums, maybe their definition of youth is not of the age category.

Considering that “young” means different things to different people, personally iFeel you are as young as you feel and you are as old as you look, but then again, at some point, the age factor comes to play in terms of medical factors and all.

Like Steve Harris would say “34 is the new 21″…and as Nabou Love would say “40 is the new 30” :lol: . All iCan say is that Youth is a state of the mind and if you ask how old iAm, my response would be “I’m old enough”. Old enough for what you may ask, well, that’s for me to know and for you to find out *giggling*

But iStill wonder what youth means to you and so many people out there! :?:


ToOodles :smile: